The study is interesting, but I found it somewhat annoying that it is difficult to draw what seems to me like an important conclusion: a comparison between where we think that the other likes to be touched and where he or she actually likes to be touched the most. The body maps provided show coloured zones, but it is difficult to compare women’s guess to men’s desires, for instance, because the variations in hue are quite subtle. Even if the images are displayed side-by-side, bare-eyed it is hard to notice any change at all in most regions of the body.

I am always up for a bit of a Gimp-challenge. So I decided to try and edit the original images to obtain a better representation. This is my take on the results of the survey:

The hot colours (no pun intended) dye areas where we are not touched as much as we would like, so to speak. That is yellow, orange, pink, violet and red. In less academic terms, you could read cool colours, i.e. all shades of blue, as “will you put your hand off now”. I find it much easier here to identify those areas at a glance.

Now there are some interesting results in here. Boys, did you notice those three orange/red spots in the female body? That’s good news or what. Also, it seems that she doesn’t like to be touched in her head and face that much, except that apparently you are not kissing her enough. Oh, and for some reason her right arm expects more attention than her left arm (?). About men, feet and knees look a bit frustrated, in contrast with the arms, which are asking for some independence and need more space, you know, to live their lives or whatever. Penises demand more attention (yes, even more). But not the scrotum. The scrotum is fine, thank you.

The diagram below summarises the process that I followed using Gimp. The female images are used here, but the same applies to the other case. The single most important step, on the left side of the image, involves inverting the colours of the image that represents where women are touched, and then adding it to the picture that represents where women want to be touched. Effectively, we are substracting one from the other. The branch at the bottom simply emphasizes colours to make them more apparent. The steps on the top-center of the image produce black-on-white edges that are used as a frame so that regions of the body become more recognisable.

Si tan preocupados estáis por la eficiencia energética de mi hogar y por mejorar el aislamiento de mi piso, por que contrate un seguro contra las posibles fugas de agua en las cañerías, por las sequías en Mozambique, por la supervivencia de la biomasa brasileña, por mis emisiones de CO₂, por colocarme una pulserita verde gilipollesca que atestigüe mi compromiso con el «2010 Carbon Challenge», por venderme un depósito de agua para el jardín… si os decís «passionate» por todo eso, ¿os puedo pedir que no imprimáis para mí ni uno más de esos desplegables preciosos a todo color en papel satinado superglossy de 120 gr/m² blanqueado con cloro, hijos de puta? Que si fuese solo eso, pues vale. Pero es que toda esa publicidad ridícula (que descarto sin leerla en cuanto detecto que es publicidad, y no facturas) nos la enviáis siempre por duplicado, mamones. Una vez con la factura del gas, y otra vez con la factura de la electricidad. Cuando no todo por separado. Que digo yo que si es verdad que «every little counts» os podíais aplicar el cuento. No os costará tanto encontrar todos los domicilios que tienen contratado más de un servicio con vosotros (que serán muchos) y contarlos solo una vez cuando os toque hacer el mailing. Una mijita de SQL, hombre; que no es más que un SELECT medio guarro. Yo os lo escribo. Y ya de paso las facturas del gas y de la electricidad me las envían ustedes juntitas también, muchas gracias. Lo que os ahorréis en papel, tinta, mano de obra, infraestructura y gastos de correo me lo descontáis de la factura del mes siguiente. Os dejo que os apuntéis el tanto medioambiental; como si la idea hubiese sido vuestra. ¿No habéis oído hablar de la compañía aérea aquella que se ahorró un pastizal a base de escatimar una aceituna en cada comida? Bueno, eso será una leyenda urbana. Pero, ¿vosotros sabéis lo que me duele a mí echar a reciclar todos esos folletos y sobres inútiles?

Atentamente

el tripu

PD: ¿quién coño querría registrarse en una de esas campañas para entrar en el «Stadium of Heroes» [sic] de vuestro oportunismo pseudoconservacionista?

Oh, how wonderful! Right before submitting this rant, when I was double-checking the facts, Google spat out the picture at the bottom, CC Anthony Grimley — click on the picture to see the notes.

“The keys to life for me are reading and running. The idea that there are millions and billions of people who have lived before us, and they had problems and they solved them and they wrote it in a book somewhere. […] There is no issue we can have that somebody didn’t already write a thousand years ago in a book. […] You know it’s in a book somewhere but you’ve got to find the right one that is going to give you the proper information.”

“When you get on the treadmill you deprive yourself of oxygen. What kind of person you are will come out very, very quickly. You’re either the type of person who will say you’re going to run three miles or you stop the treadmill at 2.94 and you hit it and you call 2.94 3 miles, or you get off after a mile, or you’re the type of person that runs hard through the finish line and when you get to 3.0 you realize, ‘God, I could really do 5,’ and you go ahead and do two more. And that little person talks to you and says, ‘Man, do you feel our knee? We should stop. I feel we should stop ourselves right now. This is not healthy anymore.’ When you learn to get command over that person on that treadmill, you learn to get command over that person in your life.”

ところで今日日本語のじゅぎょうをさいかいしました！

«¡Maricón, vuelve a Cataluña!»

Esto lo gritó al jugador Xavi uno que había a mi lado. Inmediatamente, otro que estaba cerca se volvió hacia él con cara de disgusto. Entonces el que había gritado empezó a explicarse y a darle palmaditas de buen rollo en la espalda al catalán. Y le oí decir «no, ¡si yo soy vasco!». O sea, que él también se siente oprimido por el Estado Español, así que todo queda entre hermanos.

«¡Alemán, hijo de puta!»

El deporte, uniendo a las naciones y a los pueblos.

«¡España: una, grande y libre!»

Esta frase es bonita, pero me suena haberla oído antes en algún sitio, así que como cántico es muy poco original.

«¡España! ¡España! ¡España!»

Para empezar, estas frases están incompletas, porque no tienen predicado. Tienen un sujeto, pero no tienen un predicado. Me quedé con la intriga de saber qué quería decir la gente con esto. Podría ser «España comparte frontera con Portugal». O bien «España tiene seis letras». O «España da asco», o cualquier otra cosa. Lo más curioso de todo es que el vasco de antes también se desgañitaba gritando esto cuando el partido terminó.

«¡Este partido / lo vamos a ganar!»

Aún admitiendo que hubiese algún jugador en el bar, no sé cómo pretendía ganar el partido a 900 km de distancia.

Lamento profundamente que mi racionalismo cuasi-enfermizo, mi tendencia a no disgustar a los demás si no tengo un buen motivo y mi falta de apego por los colorines me impidan en días como hoy sentirme genuinamente feliz, pasármelo bien y hacer amigos. Creo que esto ya no lo voy a poder cambiar nunca.

I got to know him only yesterday, thanks to one of @ampajaro’s tweets announcing his death first thing in the morning. That was followed by a chain of entries coming from a few of the blogs I (helplessly try to) keep up with.

I have read such striking superlatives about this comedian that I youtubed him. After watching a few of his routines I now feel that I have to share and honour his talent. So here you have two pieces of different shows by George Carlin. Caution — strong opinions (and language) ahead.

The first video is basically about religion being a pile of bullshit (kudos, we need more of that nowadays):

The second video is a somewhat furious yet brilliant sermon against those who are against abortion. (I personally don’t agree with all of what Carlin says in this video. I am not against abortion. But unlike most of other left-wing people I know, I am not that sure that I am undoubtfully in favour of abortion, either. Also, I don’t buy the theory that equates abortion to women’s rights, and to “the choice of one woman”. In any case, I’m an atheist and my position has nothing to do with religion, tradition or customs, so I very much support — and enjoy — Carlin’s mockery of religion’s mean and simplistic approach to abortion):

What I admire the most about George Carlin is the technique — the round, perfectly-delivered script. He can speak for ten minutes without stumbling over a single syllable, without humming or hesitating. Weaving long enumerations of words or examples, putting the stress in the right place and stopping precisely where required.

And I love his strong and brave position on issues as sticky as religion, politics, taboos, gender, death, PC language and abortion. Even if at times he looks more like a fanatical preacher than a comedian and some of his arguments seem debatable to me. But hey, conservatism needs to be balanced. Don’t miss his “Seven dirty words” routine (“shit, piss, fuck, cunt, cocksucker, motherfucker, tits”), which apparently caused a radio station to be sued and sparkled a major debate about censorship in the American airwaves. Here, the video audio in YouTube.

We still have to hand in a portfolio with some papers next week. But we already know that we all passed the course and that we are getting our certificate. Well deserved, because we worked really hard during these 11 weeks.

That has been a crazy time for me — more than once I have been sleeping ridiculous number of hours several days in a row. I’m proud that I suceeded in balancing that with my new job. As I’m sure my classmates are proud of themselves, too. I am also thankful to the few people who are close to me and bore my misanthropy during these weeks.

But we had many good laughs, too. And I met some interesting people (students, teachers and meta-teachers).

In total, we were eight teachers of Spanish (of whom four Spaniards, three Colombians, one Argentine) three Italians and three French. This week we have been celebrating, also with our students.

These are some quotes I heard and wrote down during the course.

“Si la violación es inminente, relájate y goza.”
        — Fernando.

“Acabo de tener una epifanía.”
        — Fernando.

“Un presente como los de antes.”
        — Fernando.

“Yo no quiero que mis niños se críen con Bob Esponja y con Dora la Exploradora; quiero que tengan su mamá.”
        — Ana.

“Siamo un binomio vincente.”
        — Isacco.

“Si italiana & francoparlante responden a todo, pero inglesa a nada → algo falla.”
        — In my notes.

“El subjuntivo: parte del problema está en la «fama» que tiene.”
        — In my notes.

“TRUCO DEL ALMENDRUCO. Cómo enseñar a principiantes a expresar opiniones SIN usar el subjuntivo.”
        — In my notes.

“Depende del contexto.”
        — The Universal Answer For All Linguistic Matters.

“Intentamos «esconder» al autor del error.”
        — In my notes.

“El [pretérito] indefinido está bien.”
        — Begoña.

“El pretérito indefinido es un pasado puro, ¿no?”
        — Begoña.

“El imperfecto es el presente del pasado.”
        — Vicens.

“Metapregunta [im]posible de un estudiante: «¿qué significa ‘¿qué significa?’?»”
        — In my notes.

“Hacerás.”
        — Author unknown.

“No sé si ustedes lo conozcan.”
        — Ana.

“Sí. El matrimonio.”
        — Fernando, being asked whether there is a cure for love.